Day 33: Truth, Lies and Confessions

Can you tell the truth from a lie? When someone tells you a very convincing lie, a lie that tugs at your heart, a lie that you want to be truth, can you still tell that it’s a lie?

We all have intuitive abilities that help us tell the truth from a lie. You’ve probably discovered a lie after the fact and then looked back upon it and said, “Dang it! I knew they were lying to me!” Yes, we all have that gut instinct, that little nudge inside of us that tells us when something is true or not. We all have it, but how often do we use it?
I had a lie told to me recently. A big lie. A lie that I wanted to believe, that if I believed, would further my path as a yoga instructor and may bring additional income. I wanted to believe the lie, and so did the teller – in fact I don’t even think he realizes he was lying. But he was. And now I’m kicking myself for believing it and begrudgingly looking at the mess I may have to clean up because I believed it. (Note to the reader – until further notice, do not come to my classes at the San Diego Squash club. It’s not set up for a yoga space. Yet. I haven’t given up completely. Just hold out another week or so).
So why did I believe it in the first place? Well, for starters, I wanted to believe it. I respected the person telling it, and I wanted to share his vision of the outcome. But I had doubts. I had a lot of doubts. Isn’t it interesting that we choose to believe something we know is a lie; it’s as if we lie to ourselves about the truth so that we can accept someone’s untruthful vision of the future. It’s like when Bush rejected the proof of global warming and asked the country to do so as well. He liked the lie better than the truth, so he convinced himself of the lie.
My meditation tonight is about the truth verses the lie. Obviously. I’m taking a look into my energetic space to see what controls my space about truth and what affects my ability to see a lie. Anyone can take a look at this for themselves in meditation. Or if you’re having a hard time seeing your own space, give me a call and I’ll take a look for you.
Ah, and confessions. My confession is this: I didn’t really do any yoga today. Gasp! I woke early for my last session of physical therapy – an hour of one legged squats, lunges, and abdominal work. Ouch. I spent an hour trying to set up a space for a yoga class that no one showed up to (although, to my credit, I did 15 minutes of sun salutations and flow while waiting), and then I went straight to work until the evening. I had intentions of attending an evening yoga class, but the look on my pets faces (and their body language) stopped me. I’ve realized that lately with all the new stress in our house (my husband entering into the teaching portion of his professorship plus my two new jobs), my pets are hard hit. My dog seems depressed, low energy, and sad. My cat can’t wait to jump into my lap every time I sit down. In fact, above is a picture of Zoe “helping” me pay the bills this morning in my 15 minutes of sit down time.
So instead of yoga, I came home for the evening to spend time with my family. So maybe I don’t get 365 asana. I thought of yoga. I did some yoga. But I didn’t spend an hour on my mat. Instead, I spent an hour as the mat for my cat.

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